Lost One II

Currently vibin' to "Teach Me"

I'm hard on myself.

I know this. I understand this. I continuously try to not be...as hard at least.

I srtive to be the best at everything, understanding that if I fall short it's not going to be because of a lack of effort. Michael Jordan once said, "I can accept failure, I can't accept not trying." I agree with this 100 percent and try to live by these words.

The problem that lies with trying so hard all the time is that by trying to do everything in order and make people happy, I miss out on some of the simple things - things that should be commmon sense.

I ask myself "What went wrong?"

With that in mind, one of the beautiful things about relationships is being able to start off as two individuals and grow collectively as one. Part of growing together is being able to learn one another. Learning their tendencies, what makes them happy, what makes them sad. Understanding when to act and when to just fall back. As with anything, you don't get in right the first time. It takes time and in many cases you have to mess up or fall off the bike a couple of times before you get it right. For some people, the learning curve is smaller. For others, it takes a bit longer to fully understand your significant other. Part of that steams from the fact that a lot of learning comes from experience. Until you are in a situation to learn how one reacts, you don't know.

It takes patience. But yet and still, as a young grasshopper, I still find myself lost from time to time. I want to understand. I want to be able to be the man. I want to make her happy. It's not that she's not, because she is. I guess sometimes I'm unsure. Once again, I'm probably too hard on myself.


As I stated in an earlier post, learning and understanding the female species will take forever, but in the meantime you want to have a good understanding. You want your significant other to be confident in you. YOu don't want to be walking on eggshells lost. The funny thing is, when I'm confident, I'm 100 percent that way. When I'm unsure, I'm the complete opposite. I hide behind my uncertainty. My confidence wavers. I need to work on that.

Sometimes I try so hard to make "her" happy that when something goes askew, I get down on myself, but I'm learning. I'm understanding better her emotions and her likes and dislikes. I'm realizing that just because it doesn't seem to me that she's content, it doesn't mean I have to come in a save the day all the time. It just means she's not outwardly showing that.

As time passes and different situations arise, I will have a better understanding, because I'm asking questions in an effort to become a better man. As time passes, I won't be concerned with being bothersome. I won't be concerned with being to over the top. I'll know how to handle myself and will have the confidence to do so. It will take time, but I'm will to work.

I figure, if I put for the effort, I figure out the way. And I don't figure it out, I hope she'll forgive me for being lost.