Perspective

I write this blog from St. Mary's Hospital in Richmond. As I'm writing, I see my superwoman, my best friend, my mom lying in the hospital bed sleeping peacefully, out cold from the medicine the nurses gave her a little while ago.

I don't get to VA often and a friend texted me earlier and asked, how was home. I responded by saying it's bittersweet. On one hand, yes, I am around familiar surroundings and in the midst of family. And on the other hand, I don't want to be here under these circumstances.

My mom had surgery today. I'll spare the details, but I will say this, things went smooth, but to the doctor's and our surprise, they found more than they expected when they went in. It was like a punch in the stomach. We pray and have faith that everything will be ok, yet for as much as our mouths say that, the fear of the unknown tears away at inner souls.

We simply have to wait.

My fingers can easily type these words better than my tongue can utter them. Because I feel helpless. When I think and see the pain the woman whose always kissed the boo-boo and made it better is in, I get bent out of shape. I want to ask God, okay, what the fuck is going on here.

But, in spite of my uncertainty, I know he's in control. As hard as it is to believe that in times like these.

Nonetheless, in times like these, life is put in perspective. We tend to appreciate the little things in life. We realize that no matter how good things are going, in an instance, our lives can take a turn and we're all of a sudden we're at the intersection of confusion and uncertainty. So, we wait and hope. And I'm doing just that.

My heart hurts as I sit here, watching her sleep. I realize how foolish I am for complaining stuff that ain't worth a damn. I realize more how important family is. I recognize how much I need my first lady in my life.

I just simply realize.