Growing Up

There comes a point in everyone's life when the light comes on. A point when you realize that time waits for no one. For some people, that point comes early. For others, it comes later on in life. Either way, you can't stay in the crib stage forever, you have to grow up. Often times we find people who, in a way, are scared to grow up. They latch on to their parents, childhood friends or anything that is familiar to them, unwilling to create a life of their own. Scared of the real world.

The reality is, the real world can be scary. Then again, it's not so much the "real world" so to speak, it's the responsibility that comes with growing up. Bills, car notes, rent, mortgage and food are just a few of the responsibilities one must take on. If we're not at a stage of maturity to handle this, we must either grow up fast or suffer the consequences of not being prepared. We can end up in debt, hungry or get to a point where we have a mental or emotional break down because of the pressures of everyday life.

In Paul's letter to the people of Corinth (1 Cor. 13:11), he says "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." More recently, Cedric the Entertainer put in more laymen terms when he said there comes a point when you realize you're a grown ass man. Whether you prefer Paul's or Cedric's way of saying it, the message is the same. As we get older and mature, there are doors that we need to close and some that need to be opened. With each year, we must get wiser, more responsible and mature.

The great Muhammed Ali perhaps said it best when he suggest "the man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life." I take this quote seriously and try to apply to my everyday life. Each day I try to improve on things I know I'm weak and try to be so closed-minded on issues.

For young men, growing up can be hard. We enjoy having fun, we enjoy the lack of responsibility. There's nothing wrong with that, although some ladies may disagree. As I sat with my realtor the other day, the light bulb kind of came up as I listened to her talk about the house hunting and buying process. I was definitely opening. Also "her" maturity that "she" brings challenges me to do better.

We'll see what happens.

Lost One

I know I'm cool. My shoes usually match my gear and I'm usually up to date on the latest trends and what's hot at any particular time. As an 80s baby (1982 to be exact), I'm unofficially required to know such things. I need to be able to hold a decent conversation on anything pop culture related. If I can't, my cool meter will descend at an alarming rate and my hood pass will be under the threat of being revoked.

In this day and age of MTV, VH1 and other cable channels, pop culture news has equaled, if not passed, hard news in terms of coverage and interest. I understand this, really I do. There will be times where some celebrity news will garner national attention, even though sometimes people who aren't "down" won't think it's important.

Consider the last couple of weeks one of those times for me. The coverage of Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears just didn't do it for me. I'm lost. Forgive me if I'm missing something here. I know Smith was a modern day Marilyn Monroe, so to speak, but you can't convince me that she was that much of a star that her untimley death warranted wall-to-wall converage and analysis on every news station. Now, I know her life was a train wreck and, for whatever reason, our society loves that sort of thing, but give me a break. I just don't get it.

And Britney, she enters rehab, shaves her head and it makes front page news. If anything, someone should do a story about how no other pop "star" in the part 5-10 years has a fallen as far as she has. There is so much that the media needs to be focusing on. The war, presidential campaigns, what's going on in the hood, etc. So, when all I see on CNN and FoxNews is the garbage, it gets frustrating.

She-Her II

The moment she walked in the room, her smile and beauty lit up the entire room. Her outfit was simple and even though she wasn't at all "dolled up", her mere presence made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She smiled and her eyes connected with mine, which made me and her laugh in unison. Yeah, at this point she had me. When she kissed me on the cheek, I got a whiff of her perfume and the sweet-flavored gloss she was wearing. She smiled and turned and headed out the door, her jeans calling me to follow. I obliged. After all, she had invited me to dinner. I couldn't turn her down.

I sat across from her in admiration. She was flawless. The dim light that was mounted over our table was bright enough to add a glow to her face. I told her this same thing. She smiled and said thanks. Unbeknownst to her, she was garnering the attention of many other patrons that night, both men and women. She was the finest thing there that night. And me, a lowly sprout, was fortunate enough to have that "Yeah, I'm with her look" on my face. As we ate and talked, the words flowed off her tongue as smooth as silk. In listening to her, I was apparent she was becoming more comfortable opening up to me. I didn't say much, just responded when the moment was right. I let her express herself and she did.

The dinner and conversation with her lasted over an hour. An hour spent with her seems like an eternity, and that's not a bad thing. She wanted a drink, and in an effort to keep the smile on her face, we decided to continue the evening elsewhere. As we rode to our destination, she had a look of contentment on her face, which was good. When we got to the bar, I had to freshen up and when I got back, she had my drink ordered. She knew what I wanted. Point for her. We continued our conversation, but because she had to get up early, I had to get her home. As the night ended, I walked her to her car and she gave me a hug. It felt just as good as it did four hours earlier.

Dumbass of the Week

Congrats are in order for Tim Hardaway (pictured above) for earning The Beach Chair's first ever "Dumbass of the Week" award. This is not something people should strive for, simply because this award instantly removes you from the beach and any respect you had earned goes out of the window. If you haven't heard, Hardaway hates gay people. He not only hates them, but doesn't want them around and heaven-forbid if he had one as a teammate, he'd distance himself from them. The former five-time NBA all-star's comments came earlier this week while appearing on Dan LeBetard's radio show. They came in response to the recent story about former NBA player John Amaechi's announcement that he was gay.

Hardaway, who hasn't been relevant for (and I'm being generous) about five years now, suffered from the incurable disease that I like to call "give a n---- a mic and he doesn't know how to act." It's just something you don't say. You can not like gay people, you can not want them around. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. But you can't go on a national radio show and say it and on top of that, use one of the most profound words possible - hate. In a matter of 60 seconds, Hardaway committed career suicide. From now on nobody is going to remember the fact he was a top guard in the 90s, no one is going to think about the Run TMC-era. When we think Tim Hardaway, we will think about his homophobic comments.

Hardaway apoologized a day later and predictably, called on God in the process. But, what's done is done. You can't take it back. There's a difference in being politically correct and flat out dumb, which often comes at a price, which Hardaway now has to pay. What Hardaway failed to realize is that his comments affected a lot of people, even those he has never met.

So once, again the tornado, known as the tongue has gotten someone into trouble. So congratulations Tim, you earned it.

Is Barack "Black Enough?"

The last couple of days, one of hottest political discussions has been whether 2008 Presidential candidate Barack Obama is "black enough" to be elected to office next year. Now, I'm not talking about skin-tone, because clearly brother Obama is light-skinned and "those" guys haven't been popular since the El Debarge-era. But, the question of Obama's blackness has been made by people who have stereotyped an entire race. In other words, they question his ability to connect with the "other" blacks, the uneducated, the hip-hoppers and those who don't conform to "the man's" standards. You see, Obama is young, articulate and handsome. White folks like him because is doesn't appear threatening. To some of them, he's a "good" black. Black folks are behind him, happy to see the first brother since Jesse Jackson give a serious run at the White House. But in the same breath, some blacks are concerned Obama isn't black enough (doesn't have a hood pass) to get the amount of support he needs from the black community.

To give a brief background, Obama is the son of a Kenyan father and white mother. He is married to a sista and attends church in his home of Chicago. So his blackness is authentic, to me at least. But still, because he has seemingly joining the Oprah and Michael Jordan club of celebrities who have massive crossover appeal. And like Oprah and sometimes Jordan, he's already dealing with those who are concerned that, because white folk like him, he'll forget about the blacks whom he'll undoubtedly need if he can seriously contend for the White House.

A co-worker of mine put it like this.

I could write a book on this, but it boils down to people like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, who are nothing but relics of the Civil Rights movement, realizing that Obama doesn't need them to get elected, and if he doesn't need them, like past Democratic candidates have needed them to pander to the black vote, then will they have a place at the table?


I agree totally with this. Often times, we as black people can be like crabs in a barrel.

When someone is trying to get ahead, some of us reach up and pull him or her down so they can't reach their goal. I, and many others liken what Obama is now having to go through to Bill Cosby. Cosby is widely beloved by whites and blacks. The Cosby Show was groundbreaking in helping eliminating stereotypes about how a black family should act and what they should look like. But Cosby sometimes loses favor in our communities simply because he speaks the truth about what's going on in the hood. It's not what he's saying, it's the fact that it's him saying it and some don't think blacks should air out its own dirty laundry.

Like I said before, Obama is bright young political mind, with a realistic shot to make history and become president. So, it's sad that simply because he doesn't "suck up" to the traditional black leaders and doesn't say the things the way and when some think is appropriate, that he has to go through unnecessary criticism.

Now, if that constitutes Obama not being black enough and losing some support from the black community, then we're in a sad states affairs.

He says he's gay...now what?

Pictured above is John Amaechi, a former NBA player who most notably spent time with the Utah Jazz and Orlando Magic in his short career. To be nice, Amaechi was mediocre at best during his time in the league and his perhaps best (only) known for scoring the first points of the 21st century. Recently though, Amaechi's "fame" went to another level so to speak, as he announced that he was gay. With that announcement, he became the first NBA player, current of former, to come out of the closet. His story will be told through a book, which is I think appropriately titled Man in the Middle.

Predictably, there has been a wide range of reaction to the Amaechi story. Some say it's a none issue. Others don't care either way. A few such as ESPN's LZ Granderson were unimpressed with Amaechi's decision to come out after he left the league. Now, I don't know whether Amaechi was gay when he was active in the NBA, but if he was, I kind of feel Granderson in that, he would have more credibility and respect from me if he were bold enough to make his announcement while he was playing. Now, I know that would not have been the easiest thing to do and he perhaps would have been unfairly mistreated in and out of the locker room, but his lifestyle off the court shouldn't have affected his play on the court. But again, it was his decision and I respect it.

I am perhaps the most heterosexual-esque male on the planet (at least, I think I am), but I have no problem wit gay people. Although I may not agree with their lifestyle, I respect their decision to live their life the way they want. With that said, I find it interested that a person's decision to come out of the closet always is some sort of groundbreaking achievement. I can understand the interest in Amaechi's story because male athletes are seen as masculine and macho and for him to say he's gay went against a universal stereotype. But now what, I'm sure Amaechi's life, now that this is public info, will change a bit. But does this now mean you'll see more athletes coming out of the closet? I don't think so. Will this change the perception of athletes and what type of lifestyle we think the lead? Not so much.

Now that the dust has settled on Amaechi, I guess we'll just have to wait until the next "big" news...

Black History Month

As I sit in my cube this morning, the calendar on my desk shows the month of February. My first thoughts are that 1) this year is already moving fast and 2) it's Black History Month. But why am I not excited or inspired? I know I should be because this is supposed to be a period of time in which the achievements and contributions of African-Americans past and present are celebrated. But as the mid-point of this short month approaches, I look at myself as black person and I feel the same way I did last month. What gives? I know I'm not the only one. None of my black friends have made any mention of being excited about BHM. I have received just one email in reference to BHM events. I admittedly have not even browse the net and local newspapers to find information about events related to BHM. I'm not in any way not appreciative of what my ancestors have done in the past and the doors they've have opened for blacks because of the sacrifices they made. But looking at the state of BHM in 2007, this needs to be re-examined.

For some 30-plus years, BHM has been recognized. To some. the designation of one month to a specific race has always been question. To me, the relevance and priority in which BHM nowadays is what bothers me. It appears it's almost gotten to the point of being recognized out of obligation, rather than want or desire. This is apparent from the government, to the corporate world all the way to our churches in our own communities. Many are like "oh, well let's talk about Martin Luther King, Jr. and Rosa Parks and call it a day."

The reality is, although those two were very influential, there were and still are many more blacks who had an impact on this country. I tried to explain this to my dear mother, who was in charge of the BHM program at our church back home. She said she was planning on having people read poems and pose as some historical black figures. Now, this was fine and all, but I tried to get her to see that it's important, particularly for the young people, that some current black heroes are recognized. In my opinion, that's where some of the problem lies. Our young people have no real role models to look up to. And I know sports figures and music people in a way are role models, but in this day and age, our youth need to see that you can be successful without being an NBA player or a rap star. It's all about being educated and having options.

So, this BHM, while it's a time of celebration, it also should be a time to review what this month was initially set aside for and how we can recapture that feeling. The only question is, how do we do that

Nice guys DO finish first

Super Bowl XLI is not going to go down as the greatest game ever. If you didn't see it, I can assure you, it wasn't an instant classic. Played in what was a sunny Miami the week prior, on Sunday, the heavens opened up and for the first time in history, it rained at a Super Bowl. Because of the conditions, for me at least, it put a damper on the event. I mean seriously, who wants to watch, and play in for that matter, a soggy championship game. It even caused Prince to come out with his perm wrapped.

The Colts soundly defeated the Bears 29-17 and all the "he can't win the big one" tags were instantly removed from quarterback Peyton Manning and head coach Tony Dungy. I'm not a fan of the Colts nor the Bears. But as a black man, I was perhaps more excited to watch this game than any previous Super Bowl. As noted, this was the first time a black head coach had led his team to the Super Bowl. It was more exciting because both the Colts and Bears (Lovie Smith) were led by black head coaches. It was an historic event to say the least. While I said prior to the game, I really didn't care who won because it was a win-win situation, I will admit now I was rooting for Tony Dungy. Dungy is one of the good guys. He is a man of great morals and faith who has done things the right way. He has come up short in his career in the "big" games in Tampa Bay and in Indy, but despite that has still been one of the most successful coaches in the NFL.

Dungy has overcome tragedy as well. Last year, his 18-year-old son committed suicide in Tampa and Dungy had to deal with that and try and coach his team in the playoffs. Through it all, Dungy has maintained is class and faith in God. He's not a coach who is animated and yells unnecessarily. Yet, his calm demeanor is just as effective and his players and fans respect him for that. So as the clock ticked down and the Gatorade was poured on coach Dungy, I was genuinely proud and excited for him. He's a good guy who is (should be) a real role model for everyone, particularly young black men. When handed the Vince Lombardi trophy, he wasn't ashamed to thank God in front of millions, not caring what people thought.

So yes, I was proud of Dungy. He is proof that good guys can finish first.