She-Her IV

In what has become almost routine, she and I went out to dinner the other night. Her restaurant of choice on this particular evening was Chilis. She said it, so who was I to deny her the opportunity to dig into a molton and sip on an apple martini. She and I arrived around 9:30. so the crowd was sparse. I was able to dine with her without having to deal with a lot of random people around us.

As we sat and talked, I watched her as she meticulously scanned the menu. As always her makeup was flawless and it made me feel good because she applied it with a new MAC brush, I bought her. She looked amazing.

Admittedly, I felt tingly on the inside, and I told her this. She smiled and said "you're not". Oh, but I was. She and I are in tune. We have have a chemistry that is almost unexplainable. I asked her could I tell her something. She said of course. I asked her if she really knew how strongly I felt about her, because I didn't think she did. Of course she knew I cared about her and had love for her, but did she really know that thoughts of her run rampant through my mind all day. When she and I aren't physically connected, I try to be mentally connected with her. Picturing what she's doing, where she's located.

As I told her this, she smiled, almost to the point of being embarrassed. Her face was red. A couple of days later, we continued our conversation. I told her how all I want is for her to be happy and if there's anything she needed, no matter how big, if I was able to do it, I would. I think that much of her. She has and hopefully will continue to be a blessing to me.

Many have asked who she is.

Wouldn't you like to know...

Speechless

Every once in a while, something monumental happens that changes our lives and the world forever.

We've seen it over the past 10 years. There has been the Columbine shootings, the Beltway snipers, Hurricane Katrina and of course, 9/11.

With each event, the world seemingly stops and we have no choice but to reflect on the important things. It forces us to put our lives in perspective. In a day and age where in which we are constantly on the go, contastrophic events can cause us to take our foot off the gas bit. We say "I love you" more often. We smile a little more than the day before. We focus more on the "little things."


But on Monday, April 16, 2007, the world indeed stopped again, for a couple of hours.

Virginia Tech, located in the southwest area of my home state, became the site of the deadliest shootings in United States history. What began as an assumed domestic dispute quickly transformed into a massacre beyond belief. Innocent lives lost. Bloodshed. Tears. It was hard for me to watch the events play out simply because I've walked that beautiful campus numerous times. Many of my classmates from high school attended and graduated from the school. So as I watched, apart of me was hurting on the inside. I was speechless.

The body count kept rising. 10, 21, 28, 32.

As the events died down, fear and sadness quickly turned to questions. Who? Why? How? Who could have done such a thing? Why did it have to happen here, now and to these students? How could this happen?

As the night went on, we would learn that current student and Northern Virginia native Cho Sueng-hui was the perpertrator of this senseless day. Described as a loner and disturbed, Cho, a South Korea had been living in the states since 1992.

With no apparent target or motive, Cho sifted through Norris Hall going from class to class and firing away. When the police approached, he turned the gun on himself.

He got off way too easy. He punked out.

Naturally, in times like these, one questions where's God? We wonder how a God who is suppossed to be all-loving, could allow this to happen. Why did he allow these innocent students, all with such promising futures, die in such a violent manner. Count me as one who looked up and asked why.

But as I felt anger inside and as my faith was tested, I realized this was a perfect opportunity to find the good in all this and realize that, in spite of the bad times, God is still there. Maybe these people who were killed were used to remind us of who's in charge.

What Virginia Tech, nor the rest of us, can let one evil-spirited person(s) win. We always have and always will get through the bad times. Pain may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!

Ho tendencies

Count me as the many who didn't have any clue radio shock jock Don Imus was still on the air.

I vaguely remember him and the only reason I even knew of him was because of the many controversial statements has made in the past. But recently he was brought back to national "prominence" because of his comments about the Rutgers women's basketball team.

To give a little background, Rutgers lost to Tennessee in the women's national championship in Cleveland. A few days later on his radio show, which was simulcast on MSNBC, when discussing the game, Imus called the players "nappy-headed hos" and referred to the Tennessee-Rutgers matchup as the jiggaboos vs. the wannabes, an obvious reference to Spike Lee's School Daze.

Although it was a lame attempt at humor and one must ask "What the hell was he thinking?"

While it took some time for the story to spread, once it did, it picked up speed like a rocket. It was on CNN, FOXNEWS, ESPN and talk radio shows and newspapers all of the country. It made for some good office chatter, which is still going on now. I'll share my feelings later on in this post.

As stated earlier, Imus has a history of ignorant, racial remarks. He once called respected journalist Gwen Ifill a "cleaning lady." So this came as no surprise.

Predictably, since it had some racial overtone, Jesse and Al came running. This was their time. This is where and when they "shine." And naturally, the cameras followed. Rutgers held a "feel sorry for me" press conference, were head coach C. Vivian Stringer and her players so eloquently represented themselves and the university, looking and sounding nothing like nappy-headed hos.

However, in the midst of the Imus-Rutgers controversy, another storm came ashore. Many called bullshit on this whole thing. Many called black America hypocrites for only speaking up when slurs and demeaning words come out of the mouths of old white guys rather as opposed to saying nothing when it comes from out own communities. You hear the question asked, "Well, rappers use degraded terms in their lyrics all the time, where's the outcry then?"

Others in the black community, including myself, question the motives and validity of Jackson's and Sharpton's actions. For whatever reason, these two have been appointed the President and Vice President. Many feel they don't speak for our community and that they are "outdated" thus misrepresenting what a vast majority of black folk really feel.

AOL and Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock weighed in, calling Jackson and Sharpton "terrorists". Newsday's Shaun Powell says we should not condemn Imus, yet thank him.

Look, nobody is saying Imus was not wrong. On a FCC monitored public broadcast, he should have know better. The hell with what he thinks once he gets from behind the mike. However, it becomes confusing to mainstream America and starts a debate when terms that "we" often use and dub endearing are all of a sudden attacked when someone else uses it. Maybe we need to self-police ourselves and re-think somethings.

CBS fired Imus and whether or not he should have lost his job was debatable. What he did do, was make black folk talk and in turn, look in the mirror. It has made us talk, which, despite the different opinions that come from the talk is the main thing.

I'm still lukewarm on my stance. I was offended by his statements and while I thought his apology could have come sooner and been a bit more sincere, he did apologize. But until then, I hope this situation makes us realize we have to respect ourselves before we can expect anyone to respect us.

Coach Rob: "our" coach

If a man can look back on his life and say he kept the same job for 50 years and was married to the same woman for just as long, I'd say he did a pretty damn good job in life.

Eddie Robinson is one of those men.

Robinson, the former head coach at Grambling State University, died last week in Louisiana at the age of 88. He was coach at Grambling for 56 years. During that time, he sent of 200 players to the NFL (four hall of famers) and touched the lives of thousands more. You see, back in the day when colleges, especially in the south, weren't admitting blacks, Grambling and other HBCUs got the top blacks who nowadays would be going to the Floridas, Alabamas and Ohio States of the world.

He single handedly put Grambling and black college football on the map. Black athletes wanted to go and play for Grambling. They wanted to play for "Coach Rob" For many of his players, he was much more than just a football coach, he was a father figure. For as much as he taught his players the Xs and Os on the field, he taught them the lessons of life. And made sure he walked the walk.

For black folks, he was "our coach" He represented black athletics with dignity and grace, not to mention success. He won 408 wins in his careers and was widely respected amongst his more "well-known" coaching peers such as Bear Bryant, Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden. It's no secret, Robinson could have, and should have, had an opportunity to move on to to a bigger and better opportnity, but he didn't. He stayed loyal to Grambling and its community.

He may have stayed at the small Louisiana school and community his whole career, but his impact will always be felt worldwide.

April 4, 1968

A couple of years ago, I was in Memphis, Tenn. for a week for work. It was my first time there and, although I was there on company time, I wanted to use some of my down time that week to do some sightseeing. So I did. I stayed in the heart of downtown, so I was in walking distance to the world famous Beale Street. I was able to eat at B.B. King's Blues Club, tour the FEDEX Forum and go to the Pyramid.

While I thoroughly enjoyed visiting these landmarks and getting a feel for the essence of Memphis, it wasn't my ultimate destination.

I wanted to see the Civil Rights Museum.

The museum was built in connection with the historic Lorraine Motel, where civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated on April 4, 1968. On the outside, it was nothing special. A bit run down. Sub-par landscpaing. But for about the next hour or so I spent inside, it was perhaps one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had. You hear stories of what it was like back in the day. You read. You're taught. But, there is much more to the story. To see the life-like exhibits of what it was like to be lynched. To sit at a a makeshift counter simulating sit-ins and to sit on a replica of the bus Rosa Parks sat in, puts things in perspective. To see where Dr. King lost his life is beyone words.

Yes, we've come along way, yet there is a long way to go. I would suggest to anyone who has never been to the museum to consider that as a vacation destination. It is an experience you'll never forget.

So, on this day, 39 years after Dr. King was killed because he sacrificed to make my life better, my heart is heavy. Yet, looking back, I'm filled with joy because if it wasn't for him, who knows how my life, and many others like me, would be.

RIP